Delbird Is Still Not A Real Christmas Pokemon

Every family has their Christmas traditions. Maybe it’s a goofy star for the tree. Maybe it’s a thing you do on Christmas Eve. Maybe it’s a gag present you get each other. For us here at TheGamer, it is a raw and unbridled resentment for Delibird. It’s hard, maybe impossible, to accurately rank every Pokemon out there. But it’s not impossible to tell you who would be the worst. It’s Delibird. A complete nothing, a grotesque little runt, given a masquerade of importance every December because of its association with Christmas – an association it does not deserve.



Most people look at Delibird and think ‘oh, Santa’, and then move on with their lives. Those people have merely been taken in by Delibird’s shenanigans. He’s a charlatan, and he’s got you under his spell. He’s not Santa. He’s not even a Mall Santa. He’s a miscreant who gives you his own effluence for Christmas. I’m not kidding – those gifts Delibird loves to throw around? They’re canonically his own droppings.

Delibird from Pokemon Anime

It tries to disguise this too. It’s very sneaky, that’s another reason to despise it. Its Pokedex entries for its debut in Pokemon Gold & Silver read, “It carries food all day long. There are tales about lost people who were saved by the food it had” and “It nests at the edge of sharp cliffs. It spends all day carrying food to its awaiting chicks”. In fact, most of its Dex entries refer to it giving away food, like a kind soul would. Then later entries describe this food as being rolled up in its tail, and this is where it gets interesting.

You might be thinking of Delibird’s tail as being stubby red feathers. Like Torchic’s head fluff, right? This is what most people think. This is wrong. That sack Delibird holds and pulls presents out of? That’s its tail. So not only do we have the grossness of the tail being a wide open flap that he has to constantly hold closed lest it drag around everywhere, that also means it’s not just holding this food with the tail, the way a Pokemon like Pikachu or Glameow might do, but actually inside the tail. It keeps food inside its body and then gives it to unsuspecting travellers who have no idea of the sick games they’re playing for it.

Pokemon Delibird surrounded by Togepi and Pikachu

Then there are the presents themselves. Delibird has a unique move, Present, which is one of the only two moves it learns by levelling up, alongside Drill Peck. Clearly, it’s useless in battle, but lots of Pokemon are, including some great ones – let’s not lose sight of perspective here. Present involves Delibird tossing a prezzie at you, which is cartoonish and Christmassy. At least, that’s what Delibird would have you believe.

Present is no longer unique as Iron Bundle, the paradox Pokemon variant of Delibird, can also learn it. The only thing that could make me like Delibird less is to turn it into a freaky little Christmas M3GAN, so I will continue to ignore its existence.

Except it doesn’t pick up these presents, nor summon them through some mystical force like Hyper Beam. It generates them inside itself, and takes them from its sack. But as we know, it’s not a sack, but a tail. And if it can reach through this tail into its own body, that means it’s not really a tail at all, but a cavernous cloaca.

Stinky presents might work for Amouranth and her fart-in-a-jar company, but Delibird ain’t got no simps. Delibird is splattering excrement on you and you’re telling it Merry Christmas. You’re a buffoon. I know it’s supposed to be good luck when birds do it, but there’s a limit. And you know what we do to big fat birds at Christmas, Delibird? We eat them. Sleep with one eye open fella.

Delibird is Not Christmassy, but you know who is? Spider-Man

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