An Australian grandmother of eight has said she will oppose the growing trend of older generations helping with childcare, but her words have angered many.
Avril Moore, a writer, said that while she loved being a grandmother, she was very quick to tell her three grown children that she would not be available to babysit.
In this case, the childcare consisted of a nanny all day several days a week while the child's parents were at work. In her opinion, the work is for The era she said the role is often filled by women over 65.
“As parents, a large part of my life and my husband's life has been dedicated to raising our three children, and none of us want to take on that responsibility again,” Moore wrote in her opinion for the publication.
“Furthermore, I resent the fact that, despite said partner's equal involvement during those years and now as a grandparent, I alone, by virtue of my gender, are expected to be somehow regularly involved in the care of children”.
She said that while spending time with her grandchildren was wonderful, the main reason she “rebelled” against this ideology was not because of gender equality, but because just taking care of children was a lot of work.
Moore said she's seen other grandmothers take offense — especially when parents criticize them for not doing things “the right way,” in their opinion.
The writer is not wrong when she claims that more and more grandparents are helping with childcare, especially in the cost-of-living crisis.
Two in five grandparents with a grandchild under the age of 13 were looking after their children, and this only increases if the youngest grandchild is under 10, according to the Australian Household Survey 2022.
“Most often, grandparents take care of the child in order to support the work of the parents. Grandparents' desire to build relationships with their grandchildren and family was fundamental to them taking on this childcare,” the survey states.
Most childcare is part-time compared to regular childcare or school-based care, but with the cost of childcare increasing, more and more are turning to their families for help.
Out-of-pocket childcare costs have risen significantly for families living in all states and territories of Australia, according to the latest figures from the Productivity Commission.
Victorians currently pay the highest childcare bill in the country, with the average cost of 50 hours of care at the center being $626 a week.
Last July, the government increased childcare subsidies for families earning less than $530,000, but according to a report from the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission last year, fees have almost doubled in line with wages and inflation since 2018. until 2022.
Thrive by Five's Jay Weatherill said too many Australian children are unable to attend childcare and pre-school because their parents cannot afford it.
However, Mrs. Moore's opinion sparked a heated debate, and many disagreed with the grandmother.
“Just as some grandparents refuse to babysit, many of us love this special time. I never hear resentment, only gratitude. Our care of nine grandchildren for 15 years fostered a very close relationship with all of them,” one woman said in a letter to the editor.
“It's amazing that we still live on satisfactory work, theater and holidays. Our family appreciates our help, and we were grateful to my parents for allowing my husband and I to pursue our careers. It's called family.”
“Put away the resentment. There are precious moments to be spent with grandchildren. Enjoy the moment. Before you know it, it's going to be, 'Hello, have a good life,'” said Vik Alhadef of Kirribilli.
The opinion gathered hundreds of comments. Some agreed with Moore that it was free labor.
“To expect grandparents to take care of the kids more than one day a week is selfish… I love them, don't get me wrong, but they don't have to raise them,” they said.
“I totally agree… Governments rely on the generosity of mostly women to help provide free childcare. Imagine if men couldn't work because they didn't have childcare? The situation will improve in a few months,” said another.
“I've always been amazed at how many young people expect their parents to act as guardians while they pursue careers and pay huge mortgages. So unfair to the grandparents who once did this and are now free to do whatever they want,” chimed in a third.
